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On the Chair

A blog detailing my adventures on the therapy chair as a client

Mute

Melissa

I can’t talk, because I need so much more support than you can give me. I can’t talk, because 50 minutes is hardly enough to ...

Trust… what?

Melissa

“Trust the process,” is what they say. But submitting to this process feels like a freefall without a parachute, like I’m giving up the modicum ...

What I knew all along

Melissa

“I can’t need anyone,” I said solemnly, meaning it with every fiber of my being. “No one cares enough. No one understands. No one has ...

What is therapy?

Melissa

“I’m still not sure why I’m here… what this whole therapy is all about…” I said to my therapist back then. “What, indeed, is therapy?” ...

The Imbalance

Melissa

I am feeling these stirrings in my heart, the pain that ripples through — stronger, stronger — when I think of our encounter. The soothing ...

Don’t touch me

Melissa

Don’t touch meMy skin is brittlePaper thinThe slightest touchWill make me bleed Don’t reach meThe invitationNot to be aloneWill uncork in meA well of need ...

When the wrong mark is hit

Melissa

I came into the session feeling pathetic. Feeling awkward. It happens often, especially after the holidays invade the calendar and snatch up several therapy days. ...

All-you-can-talk Tuesday

Melissa

Come Tuesday, and it’s time to talk. It’s time to fill myself up by, as ironic as it is, getting some of the stuff choking ...

I can’t touch it

Melissa

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? If a heart implodes deep ...

When Therapy Doesn’t Feel Therapeutic

Melissa

Apparently, I’m here for healing — for you to teach me that I have a place in the world. That there are actually people who ...